Why won’t he Listen to Me? (and how can I change that?) 😩👂🏾👄

Why don’t our men listen to us? Is it because they’re dumb? Don’t answer that. I don’t think that’s it. Is it because we’re dumb? I doubt it’s that either. It’s possible we’re all dumb, but that’s another topic for another day.

When it comes to answering this question, why don’t men listen to us, we can find the answer faster by just thinking a little bit about human nature. And one thing is for sure when it comes to that…MOST people don’t listen.

Seriously. I’m a bit biased since I used to teach middle school and kids HATE listening in general, but forreal y’all. We don’t listen. Can you imagine how much harder it is to get a whole MAN to listen? Someone primarily driven by sex, money, and power? Okay maybe we’re all at least a tad driven by those things, but hey. Still.

It’s like moving mountains, sis.

So…let’s answer the question of the day. Why isn’t he listening to you?

As usual, the answer is simple. He doesn’t want to listen to you.

Sucks doesn’t it? I know. I feel the same way. But the sooner we can get this shit into our heads, the better off we‘ll be. So let’s get to the follow up question: Why doesn’t he want to listen to you? Ahh…much better question huh?

Listening takes effort. When someone is talking and you have absolutely no interest in what the hell they are blabbering on talkin bout…you start to dose off. You may go through the motions, nod your head and pretend listen, but you really don’t give a shit. You’d rather be watching a dumb YouTube video or learning something that’s gonna benefit you. Admit it.

So how do you get your man to listen to you?

First, Investigate his Values

Ahh, those good ole values.

If you know what he values, you can better inspire him. They get me with those Ulta Beauty emails in my inbox all the time. They know I value healthy skin, so they send me a picture of a woman with a ‘flawless’ face, promising me if I buy x y or z product some snake oil, I’ll have angel skin too. I click every time, and sometimes they get a sale from me. Why? I value beauty, so they were able to inspire me.

Every single one of us is driven by the things we value. Don’t believe me? Take a look at your recent purchases. Just read through the last three things you bought. I bet those things show you a lot about what you value…whether it was rent, your car note, or a smoothie from Mickey D’s. Those purchases show that you value shelter, transportation, and erm…smoothies.


So think about what your man wants. This is what you’ll use to get his attention. For instance, if he loves sex, which come on he probably does, then looking sexy should be part of your plan to get him to listen. If he’s more of a brainiac or a logic freak, maybe open the conversation with some statistics or research. You get the point.

Next, Advertise


Alright so now that you know what’s likely to get him to listen, you work on showing that off. What do I mean? Plant ideas in his head. Show him how if he listens to what you’re about to say, he’ll get one of his values fulfilled.

Once you get him to the point where he’s completely enthralled and either salivating because you look so good..or impressed because you know your shit…this is when you go in for the kill.

Finally, be heard and then DELIVER them goods

This is what you’ve been waiting for! You want to be heard, right? Well once you’ve sold him the dream, advertised your ass off and gotten him hooked which means his attention is on you… now you can actually be heard. Now he’s actually willing to listen because you have awakened one of his values. There’s something in it for him.

Things get tricky at this point though. If you baited him with sex, you’re gonna have to make sure that you are heard BEFORE you deliver the goods. (IE:sex) If you don’t, you may end up assed out, and not in a good way. Wink wink*

So how do you get your man to listen? Please do tell!

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