Scared of Losing Your Shit? We all are: How to Transform Fear into Love

Fear is powerful.  Just turn on the news and feel how you get sucked in. It’s a magnet and an energy drain. 

I’m super familiar with fear. I bet you are too. Fear is an emotion that usually results in a flight or fight response. You either run away, or put your dukes up. 

But what if fear isn’t really anything to fear? What if you can actually harness fear and turn  it into something else entirely? 

The first thing to understand about fear is why you experience it anyway. Fear is a result of experiencing a low vibration, namely lack. Fear is powerful, because if you allow it, it will influence your actions. 

If you’re afraid your man is cheating on you, how does that influence your actions? You may search through his phone, you may start looking for things, and you’ll probably find something. Whatever you find may or may not indicate cheating, but since you’re already living in fear, it’s likely that you will perceive the most negative outcome. 

Fear is beneficial when you acknowledge it. If you don’t acknowledge that you have it, then it will control you. I have fear right now as I write this, because I’m not sure if it will be received well, or understood. But instead of not writing, I’m using the fear to fuel exactly what I’m writing about. The more I write, the less I fear because I’m using the energy now instead of allowing it to keep me stagnant. 

Here are some steps to turn fear into love:

  1. Acknowledge the fear. 
  2. Ask the fear if it wants to tell you something. 
  3. Change the narrative 

Let’s apply this to a love situation. Let’s say you fear that your husband will someday leave you for a younger, better looking woman. What could you do to change this into a better feeling? 

First off, you could acknowledge that it’s a fear you have. I’ll acknowledge it. I just turned 30 and sometimes I wonder if my man might leave me one day. 

Next you ask yourself, what is this fear telling me? What does this fear say about me? 

Well for one, it tells me that I’m attached to my marriage. Nothing wrong with this at face value, right? But with attachments come the reality that change is inevitable.

The reality is, my husband and I won’t live forever, and that I haven’t the slightest clue when either of us will pass away, or “fall out of love,” or whatever. So my fear is rooted in something I can’t control: the future. But what can I control? That brings us to the third and final step.

Change the narrative. 

So I have a fear that my husband might leave me. How can I spin this and make it favorable? What new narrative can I create? 

Maybe if he leaves me, I can get a newer man who treats me even better than he did. 

Maybe if he leaves me, I can devote the new free time to something important to me that I never had time for. 

Maybe if he leaves me, I could move away and  create an entirely new persona and have a whole new life. How fun! 

The key here is, create a new narrative around your fear, so that you no longer live in the state of lack. Instead, you are realizing that you always have a choice. There’s absolutely no reason to fear, if you have faith that you can change the way you look at something. And guess what? You can always do that.

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