You don’t just find a romantic relationship, you create it. ❤️

Yep. That’s right. As with most things in life, if you want something, it’s up to you and what you’re willing to do to get it.

One of my favorite pastimes is to watch Married at First Sight, of course for the drama, but also because it’s interesting to me how people want love but don’t believe they can find it, because they don’t trust themselves.

So what is a romantic relationship?

A romantic relationship is a love connection between two people who are making a conscious choice to give romantic love to one another. The lovers decide on the terms of their relationship: ie monogamy, polyamory, friends w benefits, etc.

That’s my definition of a romantic relationship.

If you are looking for love, you are pushing love away.

What Nia? What does that even mean? Glad you asked because I’m gonna tell you exactly what I mean.

Anytime you are looking for something, it means you don’t have it. Duh, right? If I’m looking for my keys, then I do not currently have my keys.

So if you are looking for love, what can we imply? You don’t have love. Right? (Or at least you perceive that you don’t…and that’s part of the issue which we will discuss later).

Now according to the definition of love above, a relationship is about a connection in which lovers have decided to GIVE LOVE to one another under certain terms.

But how can you give someone love, if you don’t have any yourself? How can you hand someone your car keys, if you have no idea where they are?

How do I create love if there is no one around to love me?

There is ALWAYS someone around to love you. Wanna know who it is?

Wait for it.

Wait for it some more…

…it’s YOU!

Love is energy. It’s everywhere. It’s a currency that we all have access to, but we don’t always choose it.

The key to bringing a romantic relationship into your life is to love yourself.


You’re tired of hearing that shit. Me too. But no matter how much you fight the idea—it is true. It is your responsibility to love yourself.

When you love yourself, you emit a vibration which would repel anyone from you who isn’t willing to love you the way you want. If every possible lover you attract into your life is Full of shit…then you likely need to go home and have a chat with the woman in the mirror.

There’s a high chance you treat yourself like shit, talk to yourself like shit, or feel like shit.

You don’t have to believe me on this, though. Just try it out for yourself. Be more loving towards yourself and see how things go.

If you want love in your life, become a more loving being. No one is coming to save you—you must do the work on yourself.

I repeat: no one is coming to save you. So let that dream go.

Sure, you can read a self-help blog like this, or go to a therapist, or even visualize the love you want in a meditation. All of those things are a step in the right direction.

But once you leave therapy, or after you do your visualization, you must do the work. IE: Walk out into the world and know that you are WORTH LOVE. It all starts when you give love to yourself.

If you want something, anything in your life, you need to find a way to develop a mentality that will attract it. Point blank period.

Let me know if you’d like a future post about self love in the comments 💗


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