Happy Valentine’s Day!
Today we’re talking about how self-love makes you a better lover. I don’t just mean this romantically. Not only does loving yourself fully make you more attractive, it also inspires others to love themselves, too. It’s a beautiful cycle of love and acceptance.
Self-love is not about being arrogant or selfish. It’s about appreciating and valuing your own humanity.
If you don’t love yourself you can’t love anyone else, is a cliche, but it’s true. How exactly can self love make you a better lover? Let’s talk about it.
Self Love forces you to embrace the good, bad, and ugly of yourself.
Love is a choice to appreciate, accept, and connect to someone. If you are choosing to love yourself, this means you are accepting your WHOLE self.
The you before makeup, AND the you after makeup.
The you who is confident, AND the you who experiences self-doubt.
The you who has bad breath in the morning, AND the you who smells like fresh linen.
The you who is the life of the party, AND the you who is grumpy loner.
No one is one way all the time.
It’s easy to love yourself when you feel like you’re doing “good.” But that’s what we call conditional love. True self love is unconditional, and it’s a practice. A commitment to accepting yourself, flaws and all.
This makes you a better lover because when you see certain flaws in other people, you can handle them. You understand. You realize that no one is perfect, and that if no one is perfect, then that means we all have something in common: imperfection. We’re humans. By practicing self-love you will be able to better empathize with others who deal with challenges just like yourself.
Self Love can teach you about emotions.
Emotions, those pesky little things that impact how we feel from moment to moment, they must be addressed if you want to truly love yourself. The emotion of love is about appreciation. It’s about value. When you value yourself, you must also value your emotions and what they stand to tell you. You will value your own emotions, and the emotions of others.
In order to love yourself, you must like the person that you are. You must value yourself, even when you’re not feeling upbeat and happy. Maybe you’re sad, or disappointed. Does this mean you stop valuing and loving yourself? Do you beat up on yourself for experiencing some of the denser emotions? Of course not.
Loving yourself can boost your emotional intelligence, which will then boost your ability to allow others to move through their difficult emotions. This will make you a much more capable, understanding lover, because you don’t expect people to be perfect.
Self Love helps you to radiate wholeness. It helps you to be a more complete human.
Because you accept your whole self, you show up to the world as a stable being. Many people find themselves feeling unstable in life, torn between two different ideas or dreams, feeling confused, unsure, and that is fine.
But when you develop a strong sense of self-worth and value, you have a strong foundation to stand on in the midst of uncertainty. People will be able to count on you to help bring them back to shore should they start to drown in uncertainty.
Not only does it feel really good to like yourself, it gives others permission to love themselves as well. So go out into the world with love and appreciation for self, and encourage others to do the same. Let’s lift each other up!
Nia Venus 💋