Have you ever felt less than beautiful? If you say no, I’m shooting you a side eye and I’m also wondering why you clicked on this post…but hey. You do you. Also thanks for reading. 🙂
This post is about beauty as a concept and how to work to develop more positive emotions toward yourself and your physical appearance buy first understanding what beauty is, and why you may not be feeling it.
This post will:
-define beauty at its most basic level
-explain why we don’t feel beautiful at times
-provide tips and tricks on how to feel beautiful on the inside first, so that by the time it reaches your outer self, it’s actually real to you
WHAT IS BEAUTY?
What the heck is beauty? I ask myself this question too often. There is a word that stands out whenever I look up the definition of beauty. That word is PLEASURE.
I think if we deduce it down, beauty is about pleasure. If something is beautiful to you, then it is PLEASING to you.
Now…what is pleasure? What does it mean to be pleased?
Pleasure is a feeling of happy satisfaction or enjoyment. Now we’re getting somewhere.
Beauty=Satisfaction or Enjoyment
WHY DON’T WE FEEL BEAUTIFUL?
I know a lot about not feeling pretty. I bet you do too. In our society, especially as women, we are directly and indirectly beat over the head with this idea that we are less than beautiful, or that beauty is something we should chase continuously, or that beauty is some for away fantasy we can never reach. But think about with that means. If we believe that, we pretty much believe there is no way to be pleased with ourselves. Is that true? I like to think it isn’t.
Let me be clear. I love the beauty industry, and makeup. I think it’s a great source of creativity, and is empowering for women who choose to express themselves using it.
However, the problem comes in when we start to doubt our intrinsic value based on how we appear on the outside. We become chronically DISPLEASED with ourselves.
As women, why don’t we feel beautiful? Why don’t we feel satisfaction, enjoyment, or pleasure when we think about ourselves?
I got it.
It’s often because we are COMPARING ourselves to someone else, or we are comparing ourselves to some made up version of ourselves in our head that we WISH we were.
Either way, when we choose to live in a state of dissatisfaction with ourselves, it is impossible to feel beautiful.
You can pile on all the foundation, eyeshadow, and lipstick you want to look good on the outside. But if you don’t feel beautiful within yourself, if you are not pleased with yourself, you are like a pile of trash with perfume sprayed over it. Or a pig with lipstick on.
A pig may look a little better with a little lipstick on, (debatable I know, but just indulge the metaphor, k?), but at the end of the day, you can still smell the mud it’s been rolling around in. And when you are perpetually displeased with yourself and you are convinced you are not beautiful; this is the same as rolling around in mud.
So if ever you are feeling like you are anything less than beautiful, please stop and ask yourself, why am I not? I’m me, aren’t I? There’s only one of me, so therefore I’m the most beautiful fucking me there can be. Honey, THIS IS FACTUAL!!
HOW TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE
What does it mean to feel beautiful on the inside? Well, it means you are emotionally pleased with yourself.
It means as you move through life, and you think about yourself, the feelings you experience as a result of thinking of yourself…make you feel good and pleased.
Now as I write that, it’s starting to make more sense to me as to why we likely don’t feel beautiful all the time.
It’s probably because we have some falsified belief that we aren’t worthy of love until we reach some ethereal level of perfection.
And because we’re human and by default will never get to that place, even with surgery and makeup, we find it hard to look at ourselves and actually feel what we could call satisfaction.
So what can you do to get there? Below are a few practical tips:
–Write love letters to yourself. I may show an example of how to do this in a future post. Comment below if you re interested.
-Make lists of your positive characteristics (internal ones will have a stronger impact) and place them somewhere where you can see them, or set reminder alerts on your phone
-Read books, articles like this one, or listen to speakers who remind you that you have value.
HOW TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE
Ahh…outer beauty. This one gets touchy. The important thing to remember is that your physical body is just that, your physical body. Your physical body is not all of you. Most of all, your body is temporary since one day this flesh will die, it can be modified, and it ages day after day. Accept these truths about your physical appearance, and you will shave off a layer of anxiety.
The first step to feeling beautiful on the outside is ACCEPTANCE.
STOP comparing yourself to other women, and stop comparing yourself to a younger version of yourself, or any version of yourself that is not where you are right this very moment. All you have is right now.
Now, if you want, of course you can change it by using makeup, weaves, accessories, clothing, etc.
STEPS TO FEEL MORE BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE
- Get clear about how you want to look.
- Commit to maintaining said look.
- Adjust as needed. Over time, as you age you may find yourself reinventing your look, and this is okay. Just make sure how you look is bringing you PLEASURE.
Remember, if you do the work of feeling good on the inside first, feeling good on the outside will be a hell of a lot easier.
Thanks for reading, beautiful! Let’s connect…