Where Self-doubt comes from, and How to Love yourself out of it.

Ever wake up with crippling anxiety, or feeling down on your luck? You look around at your circumstances and wonder: why aren’t I where I want to be? Why am I not making a certain amount of money? Why is my house a mess even though all I do is work to clean it up? Why doesn’t my boyfriend value me? Why is my life a fucking mess?

If you’ve ever experienced any of that, then you know exactly what self-doubt feels like. It’s a strong and powerful emotion and mental state that keeps you stagnant.

When you doubt yourself, you can’t move forward from that space, and as a result, you wind up worse than where you started, because now you’re feeding this idea that you aren’t enough.

This post will cover:

-What is self-doubt, spiritually

-How self-doubt grows, especially in women

-How to love self-doubt out of your life

WHAT IS SELF-DOUBT, Spiritually?

Whenever you doubt yourself, you have lost connection with your source, higher self, or God. This is because God does not doubt you. God aka your higher self created you, and does not see this doubt stuff you are spouting.

Doubt does not come from the source. Doubt comes from your lower-self, the part of you that associates itself with the Earth realm and all that comes with it.

As we all know, this Earth is a mixed bag, and sometimes it comes with a whole lotta bullshit. This is why in order to stay spiritually sound, you must always remember that source loveS you, and if you are not being loving to yourself, you are separating yourself from source or your higher self.


Self-doubt is not exclusive to women, but in my experience, women are more prone to latch on to self-doubt. It is built into our society and the way we think about women. Whenever I fall into self doubt, it is because I have externalized my role in society so much so, that I feel helpless.

So how does self-doubt grow?

On earth, seeds grow with water, sunlight, and adequate conditions. Much like the seed, your self-belief grows with emotions, information, and the ideas you surround yourself with.

Now, if the emotions you feel, the information you intake, and the ideas you surround yourself with are things that make you DOUBT YOURSELF, then self-doubt will grow.

This is because you have provided the perfect conditions for self-doubt; you have primed your mind and soul with negative emotions and information where doubt can blossom.

Below are a few examples of things that will FOR SURE grow self-doubt:

-Looking at the negative aspects of your life instead of the positive

-Holding envy of others

-Feeling depressed, low, and a lack of confidence

-Constantly reading negative information

-Hanging around people who don’t believe in themselves

How many of the above things do you do on a daily basis? If you are anything like the average human and if you are truly honest with yourself, you do these things often. I’m guilty of it myself and as I write these words, I shake my head at myself for it.

But here’s the up side. You can ALWAYS change these things, because you can change your focus, you can change the information you take in, and you can influence your own emotions.

Seriously, just take a second and listen to this song and tell me you don’t feel bette afterwards:

I just listened to it, and damn. I feel better.

Anyway, let’s get back to the post.

Let’s get something clear: self-doubt grows because you have allowed it to. When you take responsibility, you can now change your circumstance.

I woke up this morning inspired to write this post because I was feeling self-doubt. I was staring out the window, feeling sorry for myself and angry because I was dissatisfied with aspects of my life. Then you know what I said, fuck that. I’m not about to sit here and focus on shit that I DON’T want.

This is where a lot of us go wrong. We sit and bask in our problems, instead of solutions, and then we wonder why we’re in the same damn spot.

As you can tell with all the cursing, I’m getting a little feisty right now. Yo know why? Because I’m tired of us humans falling victim to our lower, negative selves.

How to Love yourself out of Self-Doubt

Okay. Now for the goods you came for. How can you love yourself out of this self-doubt that keeps creeping into your psyche?

Step 1: Admit that from time to time, you doubt yourself.

This step is important. When you admit that you are experiencing negative emotions, you can move forward and take action. If you deny the emotions, you just stay stuck in denial. That’s not a fun place to be.

Step 2: Get it out. Create something.

Don’t keep the self doubt in. Express it. Whether you’re a writer like me, or a painter, graphic artist, crafter, make-up artist, whatever. take tht Self-doubt energy and CREATE SOMETHING with it. Energy doesn’t die–it transforms. Through creation, you are putting that energy to use instead of just allowing it to sit there and multiply into more misery.

Step 3: Build yourself again from ground zero.

Think back to the core of who you are. Think back to your childhood. Remember–you are pure potential.

You can be whoever the hell you want to be. Learn to love that fact. Anything that has happened to you in your past, is not what’s happening right now. The future has not happened, so worrying about it is fruitless. If you are to think about the future, ONLY think about it in terms of what you actually WANT.

If you devote energy to anything other than what you want, then THAT, my friend, is what you will get.

Step 4: Recommit to Loving yourself

If you were raised Christian, I’m sure you remember the altar call. How many times did you go down there to rededicate your life? Can you count?

I know you probably can’t.

Recommitting to loving yourself on a regular basis is crucial, because you are human. As a human, you spend lots of time interacting with this world, and this world is full of both negative and positive energy, and you are constantly soaking all of that shit up.

If you have a lack of self-love, if you are self-doubting, then you have fallen victim to the part of you that is human and therefore depends on reality to validate itself. Your true power is WITHIN YOURSELF.

If you do not know who you are on the inside, what you are truly capable of then, then you will always doubt yourself. This world is not here to make you feel good about yourself. That is YOUR JOB.

In my novel, Mr. Magick, Diane is a young woman who believes that joining a sorority would change her life for the better. She is looking OUTSIDE of herself to find herself. But in the end, she learns that the outer world will ONLY show you what you already believe WITHIN. She had to figure out how to change herself, from the INSIDE FIRST. And if you are doubting yourself, thats what you will have to learn to do as well.


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