How to Know Thyself

I’m either very qualified to write this, or I’m not qualified at all—but either way I’m writing it.

You see, I have an identity crisis just about everyday. Sometimes it’s big sometimes its small, but I always have one. I like to (jokingly)blame it on my astrological alignments.

But enough about me. How do you know thyself? In spiritual circles this phrase is thrown around like a hot potato, but no one ever seems to be able to tell you how the hell to do it.

So—since this is something I think bout everyday—I’m going to attempt to provide some practical ways to discover who the hell you are. Just in case you’re like me and you just don’t know.

Disclaimer: Before you get into the practical tips, there is something I want you to know: you do not NEED anything outside of your inner self, to know who you are.

Below I provide tools that have helped me along my journey–but by no means do you NEED any of it. Everything you need is already within you. You can close your eyes, clear your mind, and learn all you need to know about yourself just by listening. However, for many this is hard. This is why I’ve offered a few real-life ways you can get to know yourself better. Ready? Lets get to it.


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If it isn’t already obvious, I identify with women’s issues, relationships, spirituality, and psychology. How did I discover this? I discovered it when I noticed that I would read relationship and psychology books for fun. I would also have friends come to me with their relationship issues and the answers seemed clear as day to me, but I was surprised to learn that they weren’t as clear to others.

So what do you identify with? What do you find yourself thinking about all of the time? What keeps you up at night? What are you curious about? What are your obsessions? What do you like to do when you have free time and you can do whatever you want? What are your values? What do you spend money or lots of time on?

The first step to knowing yourself is to simply observe yourself and what you like to associate yourself with.


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I didn’t realize I loved tidiness until I shared a home with a husband and a baby boy. Gee wiz. I’m not the neatest person in the world, but neither of the males I live with are.

Things that upset you can teach you about your values. Take stock of anything that irritates the hell out of you—you may learn something about yourself!


Remember that Kanye song? Think about it. Ask yourself, what is your addiction? Is it money? Is it clothes? Is it weed? Now I know you may be wondering how this is going to help you know yourself but here’s why: our addictions are born of our deepest inner needs.

Alcoholism and other drugs are rampant in our society because many of us feel powerless, and drinking is an escape. However—think deeper. For instance if your addiction is…let’s say sniffing paint thinner—investigate how you feel when you sniff it—because whatever this feeling is—-may be telling you something about yourself.

Disclaimer: I am NOT an addictions counselor. Seek help as soon as possible if you need professional assistance.


We all have pain—but what hurts you the most? I write romance and self-help because my deepest pain in life has been in the area of relationships and self-discovery. I’m passionate about these things because I’ve experienced pain through them.

Whatever you struggle with is a sign of what you’re meant to overcome or overstand. After all—we’re all the protagonists of our own lives.


What do you like listening to? What’s your default? Pop? Rap? Rock? Music has a way of connecting to our subconscious minds. Take stock of what music you enjoy listening to the best, because it’s highly likely that there is a deep connection happening there. What could the music you like tell you about yourself? What does the artist represent? What vibes do you refer to be in? Are they beneficial? Detrimental?


Last but not least, check out your astrology! Astrology is not a cure all—there are thousands of sites out there with other peoples interpretations on them—and some people are very fatalistic and will make it seem like some signs and alignment are better than others. Don’t get stuck in this rut of victimhood.

In order to know yourself, or ore about the energies you carry, I advise you to get familiar with your moon sign and your sun sign. The ascendant is beneficial as well, but if you’re just starting out, study your moon. One of my favorite astrology sites is Cafe Astrology, but you can also do a simple youtube search–lots of astrologers live there.


Life isn’t stagnant and you shouldn’t be either. Your identity will continue to shift as you move through life and the more you can accept this, the easier life will be for you.

At the end of the day, you have the power to create your own reality through the thoughts you think and the beliefs you latch on to.

Enjoy the journey and have fun getting to know yourself! Much Love,


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