One of my good friends asked me to write a post on this…and it’s been an interesting one to think about.
How do you love yourself when you feel worthless?
Well, first off let’s deduce this question. To love something is to appreciate it. To value it. So essentially we’re asking; how do I value something that I don’t feel is valuable?
This isn’t possible without changing your feeling. So a better question is: How do you feel your own worth? How do you feel worthy?
What is worth?
Worth is the amount of value something has.
So worthless is having no value. If you feel worthless…then you feel you have no value. So if you want to feel worthy, then you have to feel of value. But how do you do that?
HOW TO FEEL VALUABLE
STEP ONE: Know what you are. You are a human being with pure potential. You have the ability to think. Your thoughts control your body, and you take action with your body, and your actions create your life. You are able to create with your thoughts, your body, and your actions.
What does this mean? It means that if you want, you can create a feeling of value within yourself. You can also create lack and a feeling of worthlessness.
It’s your choice, depending on what you choose to think and believe. Remember value is simply something deemed important. So ask yourself: What do I deem important? What do I value?
If you want to feel valuable, then you must think thoughts and take actions that support this feeling.
Do you feel valuable when you fill your body with fruits and vegetables, or fast food? Do you feel more valuable when you meditate on negative thoughts, or positive ones? Do you feel valuable when you are around people who appreciate you, or those who don’t?
The first step to feeling valuable is really about clearing out the clutter of your mind, and deciding what truly makes you feel valuable. At the end of the day…the best way to feel valuable is to create a mental environment in which you can develop this type of feeling. This may mean you need to take a mental detox.
STEP TWO: Live your life in alignment with your values. Okay so in step one you defined your personal values. These are the things that are important to you. Now it’s your turn to ACT IN ALIGNMENT with those values.
If you said you value love, then you should be loving towards yourself, and therefore others. Are you speaking to yourself in a kind way? Are you allowing self-hate to live in your mind? Do you take the time to say loving things to yourself and others?
If you value health, then your life should reflect that. Are you taking care of your mental, physical, and spiritual health? Or are you putting yourself last and looking for others to value it for you?
If you value money…then you should treat your money with the utmost respect. Are you paying attention to your money? Are you thankful for every cent that enters your life? Or are you disgruntled about it? Are you afraid of money? Or do you really appreciate it and what it can do for your life?
STEP 3: Maintenance
Accept that you will encounter resistance on your journey. What do I mean? When you decide to value yourself, you may not always feel like doing that. Certain things in this world such as your employment status, your relationship, whatever circumstance you find yourself in, will likely challenge your belief of your value. Your job is to remember that the choice is YOURS. No one can control what you think about your own self, inside your own mind. That is your work.
Do whatever you must to maintain a valuable perspective of yourself. The minute you look outside of you, and your Source(or God), to define your value, you are at the mercy of that external force. (Which can be a person, place, or thing.)
Final thoughts/encouragement for your journey to Self-Love:
The reason you feel worthless is because you are not living in alignment with your values, and because you are disconnected from your own well-being, and therefore your own value.
Feelings of worthlessness come from the thoughts that you allow yourself to meditate on. I know, because I’ve let negative thoughts run me, and I didn’t like how it felt, so I made a conscious choice to stop.
Be honest with yourself: Are you allowing yourself to sit in a funk? To stay in a negative tornado of emotion for long periods? Do you surround yourself with people who have low spirits, or who spout negativity all day? Take a long hard look at your life because if you are feeling worthless, then you have been soaking in that feeling.
In order to change it, you will have to make a choice to stop allowing these thoughts to live in your head.
Try meditation, listening to uplifting music, affirmations, etc. Some people use drugs, and that may work for a time, but it’s not healthy and once the high wears off you’re back at square one.
The choice is yours whether you want to feel your own value. No matter what you choose, it doesn’t change these facts:
YOU ARE WORTHY. You are valuable. You are limitless potential. You can decide to live a life in which you love yourself completely, no matter what.
Download these free visual self-love affirmations below:
How to use: When you are feeling really good about yourself, or at least open to feeling good, read these affirmations. Say them aloud to yourself in a mirror, or simply look at the images and let them sink into your subconscious mind. If you read them when you are feeling low, then you won’t reap the benefits. Your doubt and self-loathing will cancel out the affirmation.