I just took two shots of tequila before sharing some of my fiction with a Facebook group today, just to calm my nerves. Okay, cats out of the bag. I’m a writer, and sometimes I’m sensitive about my shit. *Erykah Badu voice*
The thing is, I don’t want to be sensitive anymore. Being sensitive is an energy drain. So I’m working on letting that shit go, and that’s what this blog post is about.
Detachment is about letting go. Letting go of what, you ask? Well…depends on your needs.
Depending on what’s screwing with your life, you can let go of many things: a drug habit, a relationship, you can even let yourself go! I wouldn’t recommend that last one, it’s not always cute.
So why detach? What’s the benefit?
Well for one, detachment can be freeing because it allows you to take more risks in life, in order to create the type of life you ultimately want.
With that said, everything in moderation. Too much detachment=a complete lack of care. (See meme at top of post)
Sometimes, you kinda need to care about stuff, ya know? But here are a few reasons detaching may be necessary for you in your life.
SIGNS YOU NEED TO DETACH
You fear change.
Change is a fact of life, just like the seasons. When you get too attached to things staying the same, you put yourself in a stressful situation unnecessarily. Know that life will change, so you can prepare your mind to be ready when it does.
You’re feeling stuck.
Ugh. I know this one too well. Feeling stuck or indecisive in life is usually about being too attached to a particular outcome. A quick way out of this is to remember that you can’t fail, because anything you would deem a failure, is simply a chance for you to learn something.
You feel like everyone and their mom is judging you.
Newsflash. No one really cares. We all think that people care about us and the reality is, us humans have a lot going on. We don’t really have time to be sincerely concerned with someone else to the point of harsh judgement. (Unless we are, in fact, a judge.) Try to be less self focused, and realize that all of us humans are just out here trying to do the best with what we have. If anyone has time to judge you, that says more about them than you.
Depression feels like crap and if you’re going through it, I hope you get well soon. But realize that depression is usually rooted in a fixation with the past. A past feeling, past situation, or a past mentality. Depression usually comes when you have been focusing too hard on a specific thing, for too long. You’ve been taking life way too seriously. I should know, I do this a lot.
Detachment can help with this because when you let go of those past emotions, the depression can’t exist. Spend time daydreaming about things you like, or watch a comedy. I recommend Bojack Horseman on Netflix…it’s gotten me through many funks.
Tips to practice Detachment
My favorite way to detach is to read fiction.
(Go figure, and shameless plug. go read my book Mr. Magick!)
But seriously, fiction allows you to take on someone’s else’s mind and issues, and this is a great way to get out of your own paradigm, even if just for a little while.
I’m all for altruism. This doesn’t have to be a big to do either. Give someone the gift of listening. Help an old lady carry her groceries. Pay for the person’s meal behind you. Just get all the focus off of YOU.
You knew this one was coming. Meditation is all about detaching and becoming one with the all. When you quiet your mind, you can find peace again.
How do you practice detachment in your life? Spill it! I wanna hear from you!
Nia Venus 💋