Why Knowing Yourself is Harder than it Sounds. And what to do about it

Know yourself.

Anyone ever told you to do that? In that muted, condescending tone? I hate it!

Maybe I’m just a weirdo, but I’m constantly getting to know myself. I never feel truly certain about who I am or who I want to be.

If you can relate to that feeling, maybe this post will help you. Here’s why I think it’s hard to really know yourself:


It’s true. Some would say that men are simpler than women, but I don’t know if I agree. The truth is, as humans we have many roles to fill.

We’re moms, dads, students, business people, sisters, brothers, wives, husbands, entertainers, nurturers, fighters…

The list is endless. Humans are able to embody a TON of energies. And maybe it’s the writer in me, but I don’t always like to pick just one!

This can make knowing yourself kind of difficult, because you may not want to select one role. Or, you may like one role more than the others.


Advertisements. Media. Seduction. We are bombarded with so much stimulation today. It’s like everywhere you go, someone wants you to pay attention to some crap they’ve got going on.

How the hell can you focus on who you are when your mind is being pulled everywhere else? It’s tough!


If you want to truly know yourself, you have to choose to do it. There aren’t many people in this world, except maybe your parents but even they can be fickle with this, who will encourage you to be uniquely you.

People with motives, who want you to make certain choices, they often won’t want you to think for yourself, much less know yourself.

We already have a ton of choices to make on a daily basis. Sometimes we just want to chill and do nothing! This can make deciding to know yourself challenging as well.



I remember in my teens my mom told me to take five minutes to myself in silence everyday. I thought she was crazy, but now I’m older and wiser. It’s imperative to silence the outside works and tune into you if you want to learn more about you.

It doesn’t matter if it’s only one minute a day. Start this habit as soon as you can and you will reap the benefits.


Hate and love. They aren’t really opposites. They are a lot alike. What you hate shows you very clearly what you want, but you have to be willing to use it in that way.

The little scuffles in your daily life that irritate you—don’t just complain about them. Pay attention to them and learn what they are telling you about the person you truly are.

There’s plenty more you can do to know yourself; share ways you get to know yourself in the comments below!

Nia Venus 💋

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